“I like having my kids at home. I actually prefer it.”

My older sister overheard my mom say this to a friend when we were kids. It was late summer, and a few moms were discussing back to school.

One mom shared that she was looking forward to the kids being gone for several hours each day. She was ready for the break.

Definitely can’t blame a mom for needing a break!

But overhearing our own mother say that she actually liked having us around? That stuck with me and my siblings for decades. It made us feel valued, loved, treasured. During those formative years, I’m pretty sure that feeling treasured is the emotional equivalent of building a house on solid rock.

I remember this feeling while in the trenches of parenting six kids under 12. I am in it. If you’re reading this, I bet you are too. We love our kids more than anything. But we also need a break like peanut butter needs jelly. And since the kids are back in school, we have fewer opportunities to bond with them.

So how do we have the “I prefer my kids at home” mindset, when some days we are fantasizing about the bus stop drop-off? How do we treasure our kids during back to school and beyond?

Here are five ways to help you treasure the time your kids are home, inspired by real humans and 1990s motherhood:

• Do not be “on” 24 hours per day.

  You need breaks. You are a human person with physical and mental limitations. Schedule breaks. Early morning, nap time, hire a sitter once a week if you can, ask if your husband would be willing to tag in for some solo parenting for 20 minutes after dinner. Whatever you gotta do, make the time.

• Create intentional spaces for connection with your kids.

• Fill their little love tanks and they will hum along happily and independently for a chunk of time. This doesn’t have to cost a dime. Go for a walk. Play cards. If your child is younger, this can be as simple as tag, peekaboo, whatever. Give them all your attention for the amount of time you have allocated to do this.

• Teach your kids how to play independently.

• This will take time and repetition. Stick with it. Get them started on an activity, and let them do the rest on their own.

• Let them be bored.

  The more they practice, the better they will get. Studies have shown that creativity explodes in boredom. Give your kids the gift of boredom!

• Don’t expect a friction-free life.

  Friction-free is not a thing. Moms and kids sharpen each other all day long. God is doing a good work. Lean in and lean on Him. Friction doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong, it means you are a human person parenting other human persons! Keep going!

What about you? What tips/tricks/mindset shifts help you treasure your time with your kids? Comment below!